11 Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Move Abroad For Love
Rom-coms would have you believe that moving abroad for love is as simple as packing everything up in your chic luggage set and jetting off into the sunset. While it can be that dreamy and romantic, there is often a lot more involved with such a massive life-changing move.
Whether you’re moving because your significant other’s job was transferred overseas or you fell in love with someone from another country, there is a lot to consider before you buy that one-way ticket. Let’s explore some important questions to ask yourself before you move abroad for love.
Is it worth it moving abroad for love?
If you’ve landed here you’re probably already asking yourself question like:
- Should I move across the world for love?
- Is it ok to move for love?
- My partner is moving to another country, should I follow?
Before you think about moving abroad for love, you’ll want to dust off your pro/con list. Although this method may seem a bit cold for deciding matters of the heart, it’s a great step towards making an informed, smart decision before you run off to live in another country.
You’ve gotta think about the decision to move abroad from all angles. Be honest with yourself about the state of your relationship, the things you are likely to lose or gain by moving, and how much change you are willing to go through for love. Don’t rely on the opinions of others to make the choice for you. It’s a complex question that only you can answer for yourself after some deep soul-searching.
11 things to ask yourself before moving to another country for love
Moving abroad for love can be a tricky situation. Emotions are heightened and you might find yourself being swayed to make a rash decision to stay in your relationship. People in your life are bound to have strong opinions on the matter as well, so it’s important to weed through the noise and make the right choice for you.
Spend some time being introspective and ask yourself these eleven questions to understand whether it’s worth moving abroad for love.
1. How stable is your relationship currently?
One of the first things to consider before you move abroad for love is the current state of your relationship. Be completely honest with yourself. Think about how long you’ve been in the relationship. Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? Engaged? Married? These things matter.
Even more important than your current status is how solid you feel that your relationship is. Picking up your life to move to another country for someone else requires a very high level of commitment and trust in your relationship.
Moving abroad is a stressful situation. From the culture shock to the moving costs, it is a huge change to your daily life in every way and it has the ability to really rock your relationship.
There will be many expected and unexpected challenges for you both along the way, and you want to make sure that you are navigating living abroad with someone who is a true partner. The last thing you want to do is upend your whole life to move abroad only to find yourselves unable to make it work.
2. Can you legally make the move?
If you’re considering moving abroad you’ll need to be practical. While you may want to move to a foreign country, you’ll need to understand if you. can legally do so. Many countries allow foreigners to stay in their country for 90 days on a tourist visa, after that you’ve gotta leave.
You and your partner may qualify for a “spouse visa” which allows you to apply for a residency and/or work visa given that you are the partner or spouse of the visa holder. Spouse visas vary by countries so you’ll need to do your research to see if this is an option for you.
If you are unable to qualify for a spouse visa you may qualify for a work, digital nomad, non-lucrative, or student visa to name a few! Fore those who are looking to move to Europe check out our guide I’m Outta Here! Am American’s Ultimate Visa Guide to Living in Europe to learn about the 18 easiest countries to move to and 50+ viable visas you may qualify for.
3. Can you afford to move abroad?
Moving abroad is not cheap—although you don’t have to be wealthy to it! However, even if your significant other’s employer is giving you a moving stipend or a relocation bonus, that won’t take care of everything. You must crunch the numbers to ensure that you can comfortably afford your new lifestyle abroad before you get there.
It’s a good rule of thumb to have 6 months’ worth of living expenses saved before making a big move like this. This will ensure that you have enough money to cover everything while you get settled in your new city. If you have this cushion, you’ll alleviate a bit of the financial stress that comes with a big move like this.
4. Are there language and cultural differences to consider?
When you’ve lived in one place your whole life, you get accustomed to it. Your behaviors, beliefs, and lifestyle are completely influenced by the place where you grew up. Moving to a brand new country is going to challenge much of what you’ve come to know.
If your significant other lives in or is moving to a country that speaks a different language or has strong cultural differences from what you’re used to, it’s important to account for those things.
Weigh out the differences and try your best to decide if moving abroad to be with your significant other is worth it. If there is a language barrier, do everything you can to at least be conversational in the language before you move. This will help you feel more confident that you can handle yourself in day-to-day life.
5. How will you meet new friends abroad?
When you move abroad with your significant other, you are leaving behind your whole friendship circle. It’s hard enough to make friends as an adult, let alone in a brand new country, so make sure you’re up for putting in the work to find your people.
Have a strategy in place to meet new friends once you move overseas. There are plenty of online expat groups that you can join to connect with other women who are in a similar position as you, which can help form fast friendships. Join groups like She Hit Refresh’s Facebook group to meet women from all over the world who understand your move and your new life abroad.
Do you know anyone in your life who has been to or lived in the country you are moving to? If so, don’t be afraid to ask friends to make introductions to anyone they know. Going into your move with connections already made will make a huge difference.
6. How will moving abroad impact your career?
Moving abroad changes so much including your career trajectory. Whether your company will allow you to keep your job and work remotely or if you have to leave your job and find something new, there will be a lot of change involved.
If you have to find a new job when you move, be mindful of your visa options. You won’t be able to legally find work abroad unless if you have the proper work visa; these are not so easy to qualify for and it can take months to obtain one even if you are lucky enough to meet the requirements and find a company who wants to hire and sponsor you.
If you’re looking to move to Europe check out our guide on the 18 easiest countries to move to (based on viable visa options). You’ll find over 50 visa options—and their requirements—including digital nomad visas, work visas, non-lucrative visas, student visas, investment visas and more so that you can move abroad! Make your dream of living in Europe long-term a reality! Grab your copy of I’m Outta Here! An American’s Ultimate Visa Guide to Living in Europe today!
Also, you may find that the type of work you do is not common in the new country you are moving to. This might require some creativity. Think about ways that you could pivot your existing skills into a different type of position or new industry. If you need some inspiration check out these 11 high-demand jobs you can do from anywhere.
7. Are you familiar with the country you’re moving to?
Before you move abroad for love, it’s time to do some serious research on the new country you are moving to. If you’ve never been there before, you’ll have to settle for the information you can learn online or from people you know who have traveled there.
If time allows, try to take a trip to the country you are moving to before you commit to moving. Think of it like a test drive. Spend some time there and soak in the environment, the culture, and the experience to make sure it’s somewhere you could actually see yourself living.
8. Is the move temporary or permanent?
When you commit to moving abroad for love, one of the biggest things to ask yourself (and your significant other) is whether the move will be temporary or permanent. Will you just be moving for a few months or years or are you planning to settle down and plant roots in your new country? Depending on the answer to this question, it will inform a lot of the other decisions you make about moving.
If it’s temporary, the fact that there is an expiration date to your time abroad may make it easier to move and see it as more of an adventure to add to your life resume. If the move is permanent, you probably want to put more weight into making sure it’s the exact right move.
9. How will you stay connected to your support system?
It is difficult to imagine everyday life without your parents or circle of best friends living nearby. To help smooth the transition when you move, it’s important to have a plan around how you will stay connected to people you care about. Consider setting up regular phone calls or video chats with people so you can stay in touch. If any of your friends have a travel bug, ask them to come to visit you.
Having a little piece of home available to you whether it’s virtually or in the form of a trip planned ahead of time will make a big difference in your mental state.
10. What happens if you break up?
It’s never pleasant to think about relationships ending, but it is an unfortunate reality for so many. Before you commit to making a big move abroad for your significant other, come up with a game plan of what you would do if you were to break up.
Would you want to stay in the new country you moved to and try to make it work alone? If that’s the case, do you have a plan for housing, a job, friends, and everything else? Make sure that it’s somewhere you’d want to stay and make a life for yourself.
On the flip side, what if you know you’d want to move back home immediately if things were not working out with your significant other? How soon could you feasibly get back home? Are you committing to a long apartment lease or work contract? These are things to think about too.
Although the hope is that you and your significant other will ride off into the international sunset together and live happily ever after, it’s important to be realistic about the fact that sometimes things change. Having a backup plan just means you’re considering all sides of a very important decision.
11. Do you want to move abroad?
This might seem like an overly simple question, but before you move abroad for love you must decide for yourself whether you actually WANT to move. Don’t think about anyone else’s opinion other than your own.
Only you can answer whether you truly want to make a huge, life-changing move like this. There is no wrong answer, only the right one for you.
Moving across the world for love
Hopefully, by now it’s clear that the choice to move abroad for love is not a simple one. There are so many different factors to consider that require you to get very real with yourself (and your significant other) about some big things like logistics, finances, career goals, and comfort zones. Don’t skip these important questions before deciding if moving abroad for love is worth it for you!
If you want more information on how to move abroad, check out our resources:
- Sign up for the next Move Abroad After 30 Masterclass to see if a move abroad is a possibility for you!
- Join our Facebook group for women age 30 and up who want to move abroad
- Grab your copy of our Ultimate Visa Guide to Living in Europe as an American
